Name: No Kitty Ow Kitty
Location: House of M
What makes No Kitty Ow Kitty so mean?
Kitty is a mean kitty for so many reasons. We got Kitty to be a playmate for the 100 lb slobber machine that is our lab. He was lonely and the small children who live here off and on just weren’t cutting it. We figured if we got a kitten, then Kitty and dog could be great friends. WRONG. It took three whole days after we brought her home just to make her stop hissing and spitting and biting everyone. Within two weeks, (at 8 weeks old) she had fully taken control of our house. Kitty is four and a half months old now and here is her mean list.
1) She waits around the corner for the dog and when he passes by, she jumps on his face all claws and teeth.
2) Pursuant to the above, she makes the dog leave his food bowl whenever she desires to inspect it
3) When the dog wants to sleep somewhere that is not his crate, she creep s upon him and make mincemeat of his most tender places.
4) When he is frustrated with all the previously described behavior and resorts to chewing his rawhide or blankie, she torments him by biting and clawing at them as well until he gives up and goes after her…at which time he gets put into crate — “time out.”
5) This one is just strange. She will not drink from her own water bowl and will wait until AFTER the dog has thoroughly drooled up his own water before she will drink from his.
And lest you believe we are dog loving fools…the human list.
1) She has discovered she can fly and will regularly propel herself from one chair back to the other, taking care to anchor herself to the skull of the second chair’s occupant. Screaming and cursing do not bother her.
2) Whenever long hair is presented to her, she will climb it, eat it, pull it. Once again, screaming, cursing, and violent jerking of the head do not disturb her in the least.
3) I don’t think I even need to go into detail about the requisite Meankitty biting, kicking, and scratching.
4) She has decided that she MUST be in whatever room I am in. If I do not allow her to follow me, she will stand and scream until I let her in (at which point I must dig her out of whatever hidey-hole she has found, at great peril to my flesh) or go back to where I was originally.
5) Last, but certainly not least, she has discovered her most emotionally scarring trick. She will lie in a seemingly docile pose upon your chest as you watch television, and when the reflection from the TV on your eyeball becomes too much for her, she will poke you directly ON THE EYE. You cannot blink or move your head fast enough. Trust me. She did it twice, in both eyes, in five minutes.
I used to read the kitty profiles on this website and think that these were strange and isolated cases. Now I know how very wrong I was.
P.S. Though there have been many suggestions for a proper name for Kitty. My favorite so far is “Darth Vicious.”
Photo submitted by: Danette